Invesment tips: Women vs. House?

Aside from my career, I am heavily focusing on buying a house and finding the right chick to marry (all meeting channels options are open ;-)

Most of my close friends and I are at a point in our lives where we start thinking about where we are going to be in 10, 20, 30 years. With respect to our professions, we all kinda know what we're doing and where we're going. But the bigger challenge for us is NOT where we're going to be in the coming years but WHO we're going to be with.

Given that we're all in the same boat I thought to dedicate this blog entry to helping my close friends decide how to best invest in a woman (or wife) and a house.

Similarities between a woman and a house:
1. You have to spend lots of time and effort to find just the right one
2. They both keep you warm
3. They both can potentially earn you money
4. They both help you raise a family
5. They both require constant maintience (gifts, praises, yard work, cleaning, fixing, etc)
6. You go home to both everyday after work

Differences between a woman and a house:
1. You can NOT rent out your woman (wife) to a well paying tenant
2. A house can't cook
3. A woman depreciates in value as she gets older while a house (according to historical statistics) appreciates in value
4. You can only (legally & eithically) have one woman (or wife) at a time while own multiple houses.
5. You can't sell your woman/wife legally in the United States.
6. A house does not come with in-laws

So, for those people who think in terms "investing", the above similarites and differences will help you in deciding to invest in a woman and/or a house (or both).